Mar. 28th, 2005 01:23 am
spiderdust: (sunlight)
what is there to say?
spiderdust: (sunlight)
You know, I've got things to post about...
just don't know how to say them.
spiderdust: (sunlight)
There are so many thoughts going through my head at this time of the night. I wish I could catch them & put them in a post, but that's often hard to do.

Last night I wondered if I was losing the ability to feel emotion as intensely as I used to do. I wondered if the saints of long ago were the schizophrenics of today. I wondered if one had to be tortured in order to be an artist. I wondered why these wonderings only show up at night.

I wondered many, many things. Things that I wanted to sit and discuss with someone. Unfortunately, no one else is awake when these things happen.
spiderdust: (ghost)
"When you don't want to feel, death seems like a dream..."

Don't panic, folks. I'm ok. Really.
But I understand the sentiment. I used to be there.

I'm just glad that I'm doing a lot better than I was a year ago.
spiderdust: (buddha)
"Even loss and betrayal bring us awakening." ~Buddha
spiderdust: (ghost)
You know, I probably have the best therapist in the world.


Dec. 21st, 2003 04:10 am
spiderdust: (love me)
I'm really glad that I have friends that I can talk to on the phone at 3 or 4am when something is wrong.
spiderdust: (bedtime)
Has anyone else notice that their moods were out of whack today?

Think the eclipse is to blame?


Oct. 3rd, 2003 01:49 am
spiderdust: (sunlight)
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star
Like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are
How fragile we are
spiderdust: (sunlight)
I haven't posted anything for a few days because I don't have much to say.

I haven't been chatting with anyone online lately because I don't know what to say; carrying on a conversation hasn't always been easy lately. There's bouts of long pauses & I find myself fixating on certain things & repeating them over and over. I don't think I make much of an interesting conversationalist online lately, so I just hide & don't even strike one up.

So. There's the explanation for my silence.
spiderdust: (sunlight)
You represent... angst.
You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.

What feeling do you represent?
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Jul. 15th, 2003 02:05 am
spiderdust: (rotating cam pic)
Ever want to post something, but you don't know what to say?

I'm having one of those moments.
spiderdust: (rotating cam pic)
And since I've been back, I've been somewhat of a hermit.
The trip exhausted & frustrated me, and I've just wanted to sleep.

I looked for a few people online tonight, but I think most of my friends are either out of town or at BayCon. I'll probably call some of them tomorrow.
spiderdust: (Default)
how do you know when you've gone crazy? does it feel any different than before?


spiderdust: (Default)

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