spiderdust: (sunlight)
I hate being sick, especially knowing that it's not going away.

I hate how one night of short sleep will sap my energy for a week.

I hate having to refigure my limitations on a daily basis.

I hate how I have only 5 or 6 usuable hours in a day (if I'm lucky).

I hate knowing that I'm probably going to have to give up things that I like in order to function.
spiderdust: (gish)
Today I go to work, but not at my own store. The Pruneyard/Campbell store is short staffed today & asked for volunteers from other stores.

It's a full 8-hour shift, doing stuff that I don't generally do for 8 hours a day.

The money will be good, but I wonder if I'm going to be pushing myself too hard today? At least I'm off tomorrow.


Jul. 25th, 2005 05:15 pm
spiderdust: (anger)
I have that tell-tale tingling ache in my big toes again. Time to guzzle down the water.
spiderdust: (ghost)
Home, safe and sound. Just recovering from the vacation now.
spiderdust: (gish)
Does anyone know if a cane counts as your one personal item in addition to your carry-on bag when flying, or would one be able to board with, say, a carry-on bag, a purse, AND a cane?

I'm taking the cane for the trip because I'm sure I'm going to need it (especially at the fair in Missouri), but it won't collapse small enough to fit in my suitcase, plus I might need it at the actual airport.

I checked the airline's website, and while it mentions that you may have a personal item (such as a purse, or a briefcase) in addition to your carry-on, and it mentions that canes, walkers, and oxygen tanks are items that you may bring on board (even though they exceed the size restrictions), it's unclear as to whether or not you can bring a cane in addition to a carry-on bag and a personal item.

spiderdust: (sunlight)
I have been in blinding pain for the past 3 days. I guess the diagnosis procedure on Friday triggered everything, and nothing seems to help it very much.

I know this is going to ease up eventually, but WHEN?!?!?
spiderdust: (sunlight)
Same old, same old.

Maybe it will ease up someday?


Jun. 1st, 2005 07:13 am
spiderdust: (gish)
Yesterday, when I woke up, I felt as if I had been beaten with rubber hoses in my sleep.

I think they must have used rubber bats last night.


Apr. 30th, 2005 01:04 am
spiderdust: (sunlight)
I knew after the crisis was over, the physical part would hit.

My body has been trying to fight off some sort of infection and my joints have been freaking out. I know the best thing to do is to keep moving and to stretch things out, but... let me fill your hip sockets with shards of broken glass and see how much YOU want to move!

This is a sort of a pattern. High stress, body and mind go into overdrive, stress ends, body breaks down. I don't even know what's worth complaining about anymore.

Come to think of it, something like this happened last October after I came back from my grandmother's funeral.
spiderdust: (sunlight)
2 migraines in less than 24 hours.
spiderdust: (ghost)
The past few Wednesday mornings have been very painful for me, and it has taken me longer and longer to recover from each one. My hips felt as if they had been filled with ground glass, my toes were raw, and the outside of my feet felt as if someone had hammered on them. Since I go dancing on Tuesday nights, I was pretty sure I knew what was the culprit. I have no intention of giving up the dancing, so I consulted with a former ballet dancer friend of mine to see what advice he could give me.

It boils down to this: I can't be a swirly girl in stompy boots.

Either I have to dance differently or I need new footwear. Dancing barefoot was suggested, but I'm not entirely sure if the Savoy would allow that, nor am I certain I'd want to dance barefoot there. (It's a clean bar, don't misunderstand me, but it's still a bar.)

The nice part about the stompy boots is they give a lot of support and cushioning, and I have secure footing. Unfortunately, the secure footing isn't allowing my feet to slip about when I need them to do so.

I can probably wear a soft ballet-like shoe. It will allow my feet to grip the floor & to slide when needed. However, they don't offer much padding.

So which is the lesser of two evils? Beating my feet against the floor for hours each week, or slowing pulling my joints from their sockets?
spiderdust: (bedtime)
I'm tired, and I've been in a lot of pain today, but I'm not going to bed until I finish drinking this bottle of water.
spiderdust: (ghost)
It's off to work I go.

I'm leaving the Flexeril at home & just relying on ibuprofen today. I've got a stool behind the counter that I can sit on from time to time, but I know my back's going to be pretty tired when I get home.

Tomorrow's going to be a tiring day too; Munchkin has a soccer class, then we head over to San Francisco's Aquarium By The Bay for a homeschooling field trip, and then I have an appointment in the city. After that, a quick (ha!) stock-up trip to Rainbow Grocery & then the drive home. We should arrive back at our place around 7pm or later. :(

There never seems to be enough time to slow down...

I can't win

Feb. 5th, 2004 02:04 am
spiderdust: (bedtime)
Exhausted from the pain, spacey from the meds, yet awake from the pain & disoriented from the meds.
And I have to go back to work tomorrow. :(
spiderdust: (sunlight)
Or at least that's what I'm learning.
spiderdust: (bedtime)
A couple of days ago, my back spasmed badly enough to make me leave work.

Yesterday, I finally got to see the doctor about it. He told me to stay home from work and gave me a new prescription of muscle relaxers. I hate how groggy they make me. I keep falling asleep in the car; today I fell asleep from 3:30 until 7:30, and I was asleep this morning until 10:30. I still feel like I could sleep some more.

What I hate about painkillers the most is they don't fix the problem. They just make it so you don't notice it. I have a massage therapist friend that I need to call... hopefully he'll be able to fix it & tell me how to keep from reinjuring it. [livejournal.com profile] insomnia & [livejournal.com profile] iceblink have also offered the use of their massage table and hot tub, and have also offered to do some moxibustion on my back as well. I think I'm going to take them up on all of their offers.
spiderdust: (Default)
My blood tests for rheumatoid factor came back negative this time.
(Which means my previous physician misdiagnosed me when she told me I had rheumatoid arthritis.)

So I'm not sure what we'll look at next. Possibly osteoarthritis? I don't know. What else shares symptoms with RA? Obviously something's not right, otherwise I wouldn't have to use a wheelchair when I go to the mall in the winter & be in excruciating pain when I get up in the mornings.

I'm both relieved and annoyed that the rheumatoid factor tests came back negative. Relieved, because it means I don't have an autoimmune disease that will eventually affect my internal organs. Annoyed, because I still don't know what the hell is wrong... again.

This is part of why I've been making the effort to exercise lately. I figure it can't hurt (much) and it's supposed to help.
spiderdust: (gish)
Dislocated ribs are not fun.
I saw the doctor on Friday (even missed work over it!), but there's not a whole lot I can do about it; just have to wait for it to work itself out again.

I think I'd settle for an IV bottle full of Demerol right now.

ow ow ow

Oct. 17th, 2003 04:24 pm
spiderdust: (gish)
I've somehow managed to either tear a muscle in my chest or dislocate a rib again.

Off to the doctor I go.


Sep. 2nd, 2003 12:14 pm
spiderdust: (gish)
Agonizing pain that sets your teeth on edge.
Pain that I haven't felt in a long time, but it's familiar.
The feeling of hip sockets filled with broken glass.

I wonder why this has decided to rear it's head up again?
Is winter coming? Is that why? I don't remember this from last winter, just the pain in my hands.


spiderdust: (Default)

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